I had a coworker in the room adjacent to my computer who would play true crime docs without headphones during his lunch. It’s hard to focus on spreadsheets and stuff when you hear lines like “They found the body three days later, covered in blood and feces”.

This Wilbury really do be traveling

“…yet we didn’t die”

Funnier than Giuliani getting served indictment papers at his own birthday party?

Bots? On Elon Musk’s Twitter? And spreading disinformation? To shill for Trump? Inconceivable!

Don’t worry, the first scenario also could produce hell on earth for the rest of eternity as well

Two possible scenarios:

1. OP’s autocorrect wrote “returns” when they meant for the post to say “results”, in reference to the U.S. election

2. OP knows that the rapture is happening tomorrow when the pious souls will return to Heaven

I tried it once and vomited on my sweater

Kafka was only appreciated after his death

Been trying to

At first look, I thought he was holding up a bullhorn straight at the camera instead of there being an annular throbber on the screenshot

Headline writer should have learned scientific notation

Ads, because even though they waste my time, I still have my money. Also:

As usual, this probably won’t amount to even so much as a slap on the gold-plated wrist for him

Can’t wait until we get trolley problem CAPTCHAs and we have to choose the square with the most expendable human lives

What if Paul Atreides wasn’t clairvoyant but was instead just very determined

I’m ok with most British English spellings of words (ex. colour, tyre, draught), but my brain cannot accept “paycheque”

I still think about how my Cuban former coworker pronounced Popeye the Sailor as poh-pee-yay

I didn’t want be the one to make that joke but I’m glad somebody did

I did consider that. Using standard notation, the lowercase “he” as opposed to a capital “He” would mean that Judah is the subject, not God. Nevertheless, the first sentence implies that even with God, Judah was incapable to affect those with iron chariots.