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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 5th, 2023

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  • Hi sky. Sorry you’re struggling right now.

    I’m also transfem. The Trevor project is about the only suicide hotline I trust. I’ve had the pigs show up calling other numbers. And I have police trauma so that’s a no go.

    Anyway, a lot of what you posted sounds like it could be the dysphoria talking. You feeling like you’re disgusting and worrying others view you that way too.

    This isn’t my primary account. I mostly hang out on hexbear in the trans mega. It’s been a huge support for me.

    Shit can feel dark sometimes. Try to do something gender affirming. You’re not disgusting. Trans is beautiful. And beauty isn’t about looks, but having the courage to be ourselves.

    Much love comrade. If you ever hang out in the trans mega on hexbear. Say hi to comrade_rain. I hear she has the heart of a frog.
















  • I hope it pans out for machine learning.

    I kept a dream journal every night for over a year. Meditated extensively during that time. And rarely looked at a screen. Prison gives you a lot of free time.

    I’ve also explored the closes eye visual space in drug induced lucid states extensively.

    This time article aligns with my understanding of Busdhisms Six consciousness model.

    https://time.com/5925206/why-do-we-dream/

    In Western language, we would call the eye consciousness the visual cortex. When our eyes are closed, and we’re in a relaxed state, we can see muscle memory practicing. Dreams. Visions if in an awake lucid state.

    The visual cortex stays active when our eyes are closed. Otherwise it only takes an hour for other senses to start recruiting those neurons.

    My dreams tend to be emotionally charged. So, dreams are, in my experience, a combination of the visual cortex doing busy work and unresolved emotional stuff if it’s there, or fun joyful stuff, if I’m feeling joy.

    I don’t know that it has a ‘purpose’ other than busy work and keeping the cortex wired together. It can be put to purpose, such as dream journaling and deeper self awareness.