If you are asking if she knew beforehand, yes. We once had to rush out of a restaurant because a dish included wine and I didn’t know until my mouth felt like it was on fire. She has been there many times as I have had to explain it to others, and when I have been checking food to make sure it doesn’t have wine or vinegar.
If you are asking if I have mentioned it to her since she gave me the gift, no. I haven’t had the energy to try to deal with that conversation, I still have plans with people through New Year’s. I will probably bring it up in a few days, but right now it hurts to even think about and I just want to get through the rest of the holidays.
I understand, however, this is going to bother and poison you slowly but steadily if you don’t address it with her.
Just ask her straight-up: girl, you know I’m allergic to wine and felt not great when you gave the thing I’m allergic to as a gift and my partner can’t enjoy it with me. What’s up with that?
If its an oversight hopefully she owns up. If not, well, theres bigger problems and either way she’s signalling to you to get out of her life or whatever.
Keep me posted if you don’t mind, but make no mistake: you will basically almost certainly have to address this at some point in the future, don’t let it destroy you until you do it anyway
Oh I will be having that conversation in a few days. I am taking a lesson from my therapist and letting myself rest from the hurt and decide what kind of resolution I want. I have a history of crumbling when I get pushback for standing up for myself, so giving myself time to sit with the feeling for a couple of days helps my brain realize that what she did was actually bad, and not just me overreacting.
Have you brought up wine and your allergy with her?
If you are asking if she knew beforehand, yes. We once had to rush out of a restaurant because a dish included wine and I didn’t know until my mouth felt like it was on fire. She has been there many times as I have had to explain it to others, and when I have been checking food to make sure it doesn’t have wine or vinegar.
If you are asking if I have mentioned it to her since she gave me the gift, no. I haven’t had the energy to try to deal with that conversation, I still have plans with people through New Year’s. I will probably bring it up in a few days, but right now it hurts to even think about and I just want to get through the rest of the holidays.
I understand, however, this is going to bother and poison you slowly but steadily if you don’t address it with her.
Just ask her straight-up: girl, you know I’m allergic to wine and felt not great when you gave the thing I’m allergic to as a gift and my partner can’t enjoy it with me. What’s up with that?
If its an oversight hopefully she owns up. If not, well, theres bigger problems and either way she’s signalling to you to get out of her life or whatever.
Keep me posted if you don’t mind, but make no mistake: you will basically almost certainly have to address this at some point in the future, don’t let it destroy you until you do it anyway
Oh I will be having that conversation in a few days. I am taking a lesson from my therapist and letting myself rest from the hurt and decide what kind of resolution I want. I have a history of crumbling when I get pushback for standing up for myself, so giving myself time to sit with the feeling for a couple of days helps my brain realize that what she did was actually bad, and not just me overreacting.
Is it easier to text?