• bdonvr@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    128
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    “Fuck hitler’s mom”

    Yeah that sounds like the setup to a bootstrap paradox in which you were always hitler’s dad.

  • RichardBonham@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    54
    ·
    1 year ago

    Such is the nature of time travel that you go back in time to seduce and fuck Hitler’s mom and guess what?

    Your son is Adolf Hitler.

    • Shardikprime@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      1 year ago

      No one ever considers that this is the best timeline possible and we got Hitler because someone already time shivved the SUPER NAZIS and SUPER HITLER

      • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        1 year ago

        Mecha-Hitler wasn’t just some artist’s drawing for Wolfenstein, it’s a remnant of another timeline where there’s fuckin robot Nazis all over

          • VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            Eh, yes and no. Red Alert 1 is part of both the Red Alert and Tiberium series. One ending results in RA2 and the other in Tiberian Dawn (C&C '95) but there’s no consensus on which ending leads to which game. I think that the Allied ending leads to TD and the Soviet ending leads to RA2, but there are arguments the other way, too.

    • GammaScorpii@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Hitler was always your son.

      Reminds me of that twilight zone episode where she goes back in time and swaps baby Hitler for a kid she found on the street without the parents noticing. Turns out that baby on the street was the Hitler we knew and she caused the holocaust.

  • outer_spec@lemmy.studio
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    1 year ago

    Heads up, Hitler’s mom died of breast cancer when he was young. If you’re going to seduce her, you should be emotionally prepared for the consequences.

  • MadGuy@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    1 year ago

    Eva: Adolf, why are you destroying everything? Adolf: My father is a time traveler from the future and he left me. So I make sure he will not exist. Eva: From the future? So he could also be our son? laughs Adolf: takes the gun

    • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      I mean I get the whole post isn’t super serious but for real, I doubt that getting rid of Hitler-Hitler would have stopped the rise of fascism and nazis. There would have just been another leader who might have caused even greater damage.

        • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          That’s sadly a very good point. I work in the biomedical sphere and it is an uncomfortable topic that a lot of our knowledge would not exist without the horrible experiments done on people during the second world war.

        • Hyggyldy@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          I think often such things merely accelerate the time line. I’m pretty sure the urge to go look at the big shiny thing in the sky has been with us a looong time. We would have gotten there eventually one way or another.

          • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            1 year ago

            It would also probably go even faster if we just stopped requiring things to be “”“economical”“” to get research.

      • nxfsi@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Or fascism may become the new trend in democracy because it didn’t get associated with genocide…

      • suspecm@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        We would have gotten a communist germany. The first big enemy Hitler and his nazi party had to defeat were the communists who were operating similar death gangs to their gestapo.

  • jballs@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    If you think about it, there are on average 30 to 80 million sperm in a typical ejaculation. So I’d find Hitler’s dad on the street, bump into him and jiggle his nuts a bit. Surely that’d be enough to change history.

  • JackbyDev@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Because it is a thought experiment about punishing people for pre-crime, not people actually planning what to do with a time machine.

  • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    1 year ago

    Adopt baby Hitler and raise him in a way that would not give rise to the kinds of feelings and ideologies that could lead him down the path of ethno-nationalsim.

    • Bread@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 year ago

      That’s when we figure out that this is the path that lead him to flip flop completely hating everything you taught. You went back to stop Hitler only to be the thing that caused his reign of terror. Life would have that kind of irony.

  • andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    1 year ago

    How would you know that this situation including time traveler dad’s disappearance doesn’t ultimately create him?

    • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      1 year ago

      In general, all the “use time machine to kill Hitler” ideas (in the rare cases they are not presented as just a joke) assume that it was Hitler the person and not the socioeconomic and historical conditions that resulted in the catastrophe. There were enough little Hitlers to fill that role. If you want to prevent anything beyond small details, you have your hands full of work as a time traveler.

      • islandofcaucasus@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        I think this comment really understates just how effective Hitler was as a politician and a leader. He tried to forcibly take over the government and it failed. That part any “little Hitler” could do and also likely fail. What set him apart was his charisma and appeal to the downtrodden, not unlike a certain US politician. He was so well loved and respected that he was able to do heinous acts with near universal support. I don’t think there are many people in history that can do that sort of thing as effectively as he did

        • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          But just as that certain other US politician, he mostly came to power due to complacency and collaboration by more moderate nationalists and conservatives. And while the mythos of Hitler was immense, his draw not to be underestimated, without people like Goebbels, without the people hungering for just about any populist figure that enabled their own conspiracy theories, he would have been just another charismatic figure.

          Let’s put it this way: If you went back in time and somehow turned Hitler into a communist would that have led to the KPD being voted into power by the enabling act? I seriously doubt it, he was an exceptionally skilled speaker and decent political tactician, but he was no hand that pulled the strings of fate on his own.

        • bouh@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          Well, history is actually full of those guys. Successful enough to actually conquer territories? Much less, but still quite many.

        • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          True, individuals aren’t completely without influence of course, it would certainly re-roll details of what exactly happens, which could turn out significantly better. Unfortunately it could also be worse.

          Also, there are limits to what can be achieved with it. For example, even without Hitler, to achieve a successful socialist movement in Weimar Germany, you’d have to do a lot more, Hitler was raised into a fascist demagogue by organizations active long before him, and their foundation was so rooted in the sense of revanchism and the rampant conspiracy theories drenching with antisemitism in Germany at that time, I genuinely think he was not important enough as a rallying figure to have tipped the scale, it was weighted heavily in their favour to begin with.

          Keeping the SPD from hiring and strengthening the protofascist Freikorps alone would be more influential than killing Hitler, for example.

        • LeFantome@programming.dev
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          It is both.

          I used to think the Great Man of History idea was silly. Clearly, it was a about a complex set of conditions that made somebody like them inevitable.

          Then I worked for a few CEOs, good and bad and realized that, even in a company of thousands, the vision and charisma of one man makes all the difference.

          Now, I think I see it like great plays in sports. It is the whole team, and the other team, and an uncountable number of factors ( bump in the turf ) that setup the conditions for that perfect shot. Once conditions are right though, you also need somebody capable of capitalizing on that moment and making history. Perhaps the most important element is that history making player. You still have to put them in the right spot though and a lot goes into that.

        • 30isthenew29@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Indeed. Some people wrong place wrong time completely alter the course of history from that point forward.

      • criticon@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Use time travel to 1914 and save archduke Franz Ferdinand, avoid the great war and the economic sanctions imposed into Germany after the war

        • Master@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          Go back in time and try to flag down Archduke Ferdinand’s motor carriage only for the driver to get freaked out and go down the alternate route right to where Gavrilo was trying to get to the original route but was running late because another time traveler delayed him…

      • 30isthenew29@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        There are some key points though that if prevented could stop the whole shit. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand for one.

        • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          1 year ago

          Personally, I’d think that would have resulted in a very different World War in the following years, but I am genuinely of the opinion that it was unavoidable. The conflicting imperialist interests were getting more and more tense, and Bismarck’s web of alliances to keep the peace had not only already failed but had become impossible to maintain (due to those ever more rising tensions)

  • RagingHungryPanda@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 year ago

    Plot point: hero person goes back in time to kill Hitler, but finds they have to fight off a bunch of other time travelers from different points in the future bc everyone wants the kill for themselves. Hitler still gets away.

  • Hup!@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Just finished binging the 12 Monkeys TV show, thats just variations on an oops loop. If you seduce Hitlers mom you’ll just end up being the father figure he never met. If you strand him in Nepal then either Hitler or any Austrian who witnesses you doing the timey-wimey dance will just blame an international cabal of time traveling Jews for it.

    • aidan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I think probably because it would take him a little while to get back probably, if he ever did. But wouldn’t kill him. It’s not like Hitler’s grandpa really did anything wrong, that I know of at least