• 1 Post
  • 21 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 17th, 2023
  • Hellsadvocate@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.ml•I love democracy
    322·
    1 year ago

    Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A Terry Crews Rendition

    Scene 1: Snow White’s Introduction

    Snow White (Terry Crews) is introduced as a charismatic and strong character, loved by all animals in the forest. He’s strong but gentle, charming, and not afraid to show his emotional side. He sings to the animals with a deep, booming voice, a hilarious contrast to the original character’s high-pitched singing.

    Snow White: (singing in deep voice) “I’m wishing, (I’m wishing) for the one I love, to find me, (to find me) today…”

    Scene 2: Meeting the Huntsman

    The Queen orders the Huntsman to bring back Snow White’s heart. However, the Huntsman cannot bring himself to harm Snow White, who’s flexing his muscles and humming a cheerful tune.

    Huntsman: “I… I can’t do it. Forgive me, Snow White.”

    Snow White: (flexing) “No worries, man. Everyone has a hard time dealing with these guns.”

    Scene 3: Discovering the Cottage

    Upon discovering the dwarfs’ cottage, Snow White starts cleaning. However, instead of the delicate tidying of the original, Terry Crews’ Snow White lifts heavy furniture single-handedly and dusts with a peacock feather duster, all while maintaining a contagious cheerfulness.

    Snow White: “Well, this place needs a little muscle love. Let’s get to it!”

    Scene 4: Meeting the Dwarfs

    Snow White wins over the dwarfs with his charm and kindness. His interactions with the dwarfs are playful and endearing, unlike the traditional motherly role of the original Snow White.

    Snow White: “You guys could use some protein in your diet. What do you say, tomorrow we start the day with a proper workout and a protein shake?”

    Scene 5: The Poison Apple

    When the Queen, disguised as an old woman, offers Snow White the poisoned apple, Snow White is hesitant but doesn’t want to be rude. He takes a bite and collapses in a dramatic, comedic fashion.

    Snow White: “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? But just to be sure… (flexes arm)…proteins are better.”

    Scene 6: The Prince’s Kiss

    When the Prince arrives to awaken Snow White, he’s taken aback by Snow White’s size. However, he’s determined to break the spell. The moment is played for laughs, with the Prince struggling to lean over Snow White.

    Prince: “I… I’ve come to break the spell…”

    Snow White (waking up): “Did I hit the snooze button again?”

  • Hellsadvocate@lemmy.worldOPtoNews@lemmy.world•Florida may become first state to accept a ‘classical’ alternative to the SAT and ACT
    1·
    1 year ago

    Kinda like this:

    1. SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test)

      Reading Section:

      “In lines 10 - 20, the author most likely uses the word ‘arduous’ in order to…”

      Math Section:

      “If 3x - y = 12, what is the value of 8^x / 2^y ?”

    2. ACT (American College Testing)

      English Section:

      “Choose the word or set of words that, when inserted in the sentence, best fits the meaning of the sentence as a whole. Despite his desire to travel during his week off from work, Ted was __________ the prospect of spending so much money on a plane ticket.”

      Math Section:

      “The equation 2x + 3 = 15 has what solution for x?”

    3. CLT (Classical Learning Test)

    4. Verbal Reasoning:

      “Choose the word that best completes the analogy. Hammer is to nail as knife is to: a) Fork, b) Spoon, c) Cut, d) Plate.”

    5. Grammar/Writing:

      “Identify the error in the following sentence: ‘Despite the rain, he decided to went out without an umbrella.’”

    6. Quantitative Reasoning:

      “In a game, if a player scores 5 points in the first round, 10 points in the second round, 15 points in the third round, what would be the total points scored after 10 rounds if the pattern continues?”

    7. Literary Analysis:

      “In Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, how does the character of Mr. Darcy evolve over the course of the novel?”

    .