I faked trombone all the way through middle school. Adam, the kid next to me, knew how to play trombone and could read the music as well. What I did was create my own system of trombonal slide positions, numbered 1 through 6. Then I would watch where Adam moved his slide with each note played, and I would write the corresponding number from my system above each note on my paper.

I leached you like a vampire, Adam.

It’s crazy to me that people are still watching TV and tuning into things like new episodes of The Simpsons. My wife and I just drove out to Vancouver last week and stayed in a few hotels along the way. Using the TVs at each one (with a living, breathing TV Guide Channel) felt a little surreal. We were supposed to have sex the one night and instead I fell asleep watching the Paralympics.

The lore books in The Elder Scrolls series, hands-down.

There is an entire universe of conflicting knowledge, personal bias, and unreliable narrators that leave Tamriel’s history feeling very real, and very open to interpretation. The fun of it is piecing together the truth somewhere in the middle. But I’ll die on the hill that the Arcturian Heresy is absolute horseshit written by a madman, and comparable to the scribbles of a paranoid schizophrenic on an anti-vax forum. Anyone who references that volume in regards to Tiber Septim and the forming of the empire is an impressionable dweeb.

I rage nearly every day when a bag either rips beside the seal, or has such garbage perforations that you have to use scissors on it regardless of their presence.

After some digging I’ve learned I’m misremembering it being Homey, and it was instead the 1991 film Shakes the Clown.

Realized this having been Homey is a false memory, and found out it was Shakes the Clown.

I’ve come to learn from other responses that this was likely not a Homey movie, but I’ve always believed since childhood that it was. Someone said it might be called Vulgar (2000), but that seems too late in my life to correlate to the movie we saw. I’m currently digging to figure out what it was. I swear the men sitting around talking about pussy were clowns.

Edit: Looks like it was Shakes the Clown.

Homey the Clown Shakes the Clown. Dad took that shit out after three lines. Maybe. The movie started with a group of clowns/men discussing their pussy preferences.

My cat is also named Mimo, though his government name is Milo. But I’ve never called him Milo a day of his life.

Tracks include:

Papa’s Little Baby Mimo

Do You Ever Mimo-Berry-Boy

Asha Luego

Two Many Kitties

There are probably more but these are most regularly in rotation.

STOP POSTING PICTURES OF THE SCROLLS! I swear this generation is reckless for upvotes. I only caught a glimpse and I saw the position I’m going to be shitting in when I die.

Jesus Christ, you can’t just show a bunch of the Scrolls. I’m not a fucking moth priest! You’re going to cause a lot of new disabilities.

Mastodon overwhelmed me. I hopped on the website and had no idea what I was looking at. I didn’t understand federation. I basically had the option of what niche hobby to join on Mastadon and no indication that I would he able to access a broader forum, so I said “Well, this fucking sucks.” and left.

Threads and BlueSky are likely as accessible as making an account and you’re done.

It truly is night and day. I still see a bit of clashing in the bowels of political posts. Usually a MAGA being downvoted to -48, or various subspecies of liberals having it out, but next to that it’s certainly a lot more tame and respectful.

Frig off, Berb!

Reddit was bad for my mental health. Especially from 2016 onward. If it wasn’t toxic or aggressive people, it was an endless onslaught of all the shitty things happening in the world politically. I don’t even live in the States anymore, and I was still angry every single day. I still see some of it on Lemmy and it’s good to be informed, but Reddit’s algorithm was tailored specifically for my anger. The platform is all ego.

I’m either much nicer here, or people are far less confrontational. I’ve said it a hundred times, but every time I receive a notification on Lemmy I brace myself for another senseless asshole. But it’s almost always positive on here.

My wife and I spent $350 altogether for the paperwork and an officiant. We eloped beneath a tree in a park with her family present, and afterward I returned my dress shirt to Walmart for a refund. I will never regret how low-class that was.

We’ve been married now for ten years.

Dollar store seasonal garland. By the time it’s up in your home, it looks about 2/3 as real and costs 1/10 the price.

As I also saw mentioned, medicine. Buy it purely on price by volume and disregard the brand entirely. The only medicine I buy name-brand is Flonaise, because most generic brands of fluticasone spray have the most low-functioning applicators I’ve ever seen.

I’ve slowly worked on my wife and now she properly identifies species of local birds unprompted. I’m so proud of her.