• Dave Coe@lemmy.worldEnglish
    31·
    4 months ago

    One of them has to be pretty small and legless. Having no legs is also a plus.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    4 months ago

    First, they warm up and do stretches.

    After everything is limbered up, they take position. One will do a handstand, then push up really hard while over the native vagina of the other. This causes them to dive in to the vagina.

    Then the other grabs a tool called a dykorn, wedges the first ones vagina apart and slams their head in.

    Now that they are engaged in foreplay, they gradually wiggle their way into each other until both vaginas are inside the other.

    Then, a singularity forms, and new lesbians are formed from dark matter.

    Source: used to be a beard for a nice couple that let me watch.

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      1·
      4 months ago

      What do you mean by beard? I’ve heard this come up before several times and I have no idea what it means.

      Is it filling in a celebrity’s seat at public events or something?

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        4 months ago

        It’s old LGB slang. And I use that shortened version of LGBTQ to illustrate how old the slang term is, not to exclude anyone

        Back before gay marriage here in the US became legal, there was even less acceptance for people that weren’t pure hetero. So, sometimes, folks would have a fake partner. Often, it was a lesbian and a gay man paired up to cover each other. But it could also be a friend, or even just someone hired for a specific event.

        Staying in the closet at work was not too difficult, but family? That was a lot harder. So, having a boyfriend or girlfriend made it relatively easier to keep things quiet. A beard was the fake hetero partner.

        In our case, I played the role for both of them, as needed. But it was usually only one of them that needed it. The other was pretty “butch”, and put was only extended family that weren’t aware of their orientation. Most of the time, it was just showing up to family gatherings, pretending to be dating. Every now and then it would be something a bit more complicated, but that’s tangential.

        So, yeah, it is kinda like filling a seat at public events :)