¿Qué?

Every single time I get naked.

It’s a chore.

Dry rape? Bro it’s a torture thing today

But don’t you know condoms burst at the sight of my shlong? It has nothing to do with the fact that the sight of naked me dries up a pussy quicker than a fucking hairdryer.

that’s what she said

Sometimes my car decides to play some radio before connecting to my phone. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of owning a not-too-nice car.

Radio DJs are little more than advertising agents nowadays. Or worse, wannabe entertainers.

Making car-pedestrian collisions safe is a ridiculous idea failed to doom from the start. Cars are big and hard, people are small and squishy.

I think the key is to prevent cars and people from coexisting as much as possible.

Oh it depends massively for me. One of my best (IMHO) short stories is 8k and was written over 10-12h in a day.

But that has to be a pretty special day.

On bad days I usually go into the negatives 😂

December

Haha, more like the entire next year.

Oh yeah. Some of my worst work is on those mega-inspired days where I sit for 10h and crank out 10000 words.

To this day I don’t know why I do that if I end up throwing most of it away.

Maybe it’s good to get bad plot out of the system.

And she absolutely kills it.

Or horny.

Emulators are what I miss from android. GBA has one of the best libraries of any console, plus there’s the custom rom scene. And I have this absurdly powerful phone that can’t run any of it.

They are probably right, unfortunately.

I wouldn’t buy an automatic bike, coz I ride bikes for fun.

The daily get-to-work shitbox? I don’t want to babysit the gearbox, just do your thing while I chill to some tunes.

Well, I guess it’s time to finally read the wheel of time.

Also no one else being there.

Also being in my home.

Also getting to work in pants.

So I guess nothing, then 👌

There you go, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Thanks!

Or, you know, you slammed the the bit you held into the body of the phone with a satisfying “pling”.

Now get off my lawn.

The only reason you get that title, on either count, is that we decided to brexit.

(Using the word “decided” in the widest possible sense)